Why do we do the things that hurt us the most?

I think people are addicted to pain. Be it physical cutting or getting punched, which when you think about it, isn’t as bad as emotional pain. You bear the scars on your skin, on your face, but when it’s emotional, you bear it inside, where sometimes, healing takes years, if not never for some.

Then why do we do it? Why do we inflict pain on ourselves that we know will make us hurt so bad, nothing else compares?

I think it’s because we’re sadistic beings who thrive on pain. It pushes us, for better or worse. It brings out the best, or the worst in us. Or it could just be that we are stubborn, mule-headed things that never learn.

Like some people say, to experience is to live. Really? I think some experiences are never meant to be experienced.

Since the world would not give us black and white, but shades of grey that threatens to yank our sanity by the balls in the most excruciating way possible, we walk this earth in search of answers that somehow escapes just when we’re about to grasp it. It’s unfair, it’s hateful, it’s damning.

No one can help you, no one can be straight with you, no one can be honest with you, and no one can tell you the truth that you don’t want to hear.

For fear that they will hurt you.

Isn’t living in feigned ignorance far more painful?

And that is what I’m still trying to learn every day.


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